I Want To See You

Wishful thinking

Thought Catalog

I want to see you fall asleep each night.

I want to see you the nights you feel like staying awake and splitting a cheap bottle of wine with me, theorizing life and love, questioning the pursuit of happiness, and whether or not happiness truly exists at all. I want to see you the nights you feel as though you have found yourself in a creative rut and you don’t want to talk about it. I want to see you the nights you are straining to keep your eyes focused clear ahead on your work, until the moment you eventually give in and fall fast asleep.

I want to see you wake up every morning.

I want to see you pull the covers back the mornings you can’t wait to jump out of bed to take on the world. I want to see you crawl back under the covers the…

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A Course In You

My exact thoughts and feelings, through the words of another fellow blogger. Thank you Sarah Sheridan for portraying whats been on my mind.

Thought Catalog

I learned your profile by following you around with sideward glances, sly shifts of my eyes to one side or the other, trying to catch your shadow before you caught mine.

I learned your voice by standing back and listening, memorizing the way you exaggerate your vowels and patter around your consonants. I never even noticed your accent because it sounded like mine and it made me smile.

I learned your stubble by observing how tired you looked…less hours meant more shadow and I liked it that way, dark but inviting.

I learned the quiet simplicity of your hands by holding my breath every time you touched my arm, playfully squeezed my sides, or quickly touched the small of my back. I lived for those pauses in air and heartbeats.

I learned your favorite words by enticing them out of you. Being quiet for once in my talkative life and…

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Serendipity: An Introduction

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The word Serendipity is often described as a fortunate accident or the act of making happy discoveries by something that wasn’t initially in quest for. While it can be largely agreed upon that the best moments of life are often unplanned, some tend to go awry, making the unexpected surprises more of a detriment rather than a blessing in ones lives. As an individual who has experiences both types of serendiptious events practically on a daily basis, I’ve selected to blog those incidents.

The first incident to share is the initiation of this blog.

Choosing to start blogging my life incidents and transforming my thoughts into words is my attempt at silencing myself verbally. Contrary to those who have difficulties with expressing their emotions, I find it challenging to keep myself from overreacting and not being honest. I think this despite being told my honesty is one of my best characteristics. To me the golden rule that “honesty is the best policy”, while agreeable, its not always the best route to go with. Whether it be learning of a difficult truth or facing an obvious fact head on, like all things in life, it has its pros and cons. Its ability to be liberating comes with the consequence that something or someone in its pathway may get hurt. Hence, the ability to be fully honest has slowly dwindled after seeing its aftermath on various peoples lives, including my own.

The filter is up, words are carefully chosen, and things that are normally addressed head on, I’ve now chosen to withhold it from leaving my mouth. Instead, all thoughts, feelings, problems, etc. are now confined to one single place… this blog. Writing (aka an emotion heightened word vomit), sleeping on it/stepping away, and then reflection, is how I hope to go about this process. This is an effort to reduce saying, “my bad I was just overreacting and not its not a big deal at all”. Hopefully this process will make me more patient but allow me to re-discover my voice.

“Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive.” —Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore