Achieving Happiness

The pursuit of happiness is an endless path that we all find ourselves on. It’s also an undeniable right that we as human beings are entitled too along with life and liberty.

There are multiple ways that one achieves this ultimate goal of being happy. According to one source, a simple Pinterest post, there are ten things [one must] GIVE UP in exchange for happiness.

  1. Caring [about] what other people think of you.
  2. Trying to please everyone.
  3. Participating in gossip.
  4. Worrying
  5. Insecurity
  6. Taking everything personally
  7. The past
  8. Spending money on things you don’t need in an effort to buy happiness
  9. Anger
  10. Control

On the flip side, some argue that there’s more to life than being happy. More specifically, they claim, “it is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness […] Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to be happy”.

With my own internal struggles taking over my mind, I struggle to find my own meaning of true happiness. For a great majority of my life, I simply believed it was balancing the four main corners of my life. Family, friends, academics/work, and the one individual that tugs at my heart strings. Keeping all four corners maintained,  stable, accounted for, and ironically, happy, is what I believed gave me the greatest joy. When one or more would all of suddenly become unbalanced, that’s when my happiness would slowly side. In great fury, I’d rush to absolve the situation so it’d be back in balance. Whether it be, being the first one to say sorry, making excuses for the individual, forgiving to quickly or simply just choosing to forget, any action was taken to get everything back into order. Then it’d be another waiting game, until the next disaster that throws the order off balance strikes. Wondering and walking on egg shells to try to prevent this inevitable blast that will hit again.

As I explained how I needed this stability to continue functioning, to one of my four corners ironically, two important things were pointed out. One, I was in denial and needed to face reality. They claimed will never achieve the perfect balance no matter how hard I try. Life has never worked out that way and I needed to throw that wish away. Second, no where in the equation did I, Michelle Christine Kim, exist. Everyone and everything else was the focus of my world, not the other way around. According to this individual, I should be in the middle, with everything else attached by an individual string/branch that contributes to my overall happiness. These strings aren’t permanent hence when they fail to do their job or have reached the end of their life, we as human beings are responsible for letting them go with the hope that something may replace them. Whether or not its an easy or hard choice, we are indebted to ourselves to making those cuts. Its important because their release should have very little or no impact on our well being.

This being said, I realize I have a very hard time letting go of the objects in my life give me turmoil. I consider myself a natural born fighter, hence accepting defeat isn’t something I accept so readily. Believing that I should never give up without trying, I put myself into situations where pain is endured in exchange for the little glimpse of glory even though chances of succeeding are very low. The thought that I need to start cutting strings in my life and letting go, brings me to pain and tears. Is a balanced life where everyone is accounted for really that difficult?

To me Elvis Presley says it best, “The key to happiness is: someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to”. If that’s what happiness can be, I want to ask, at what cost and what will I lose along the way? Will ever one day be at a peace of mind where I’m not worrying, insecure or trying to make everyone happy? When something in front of my eyes looks obviously so unstable, will I be ever be able to calm and not paranoid of what is to come? If happiness is about me, how come the choices I have made for myself bringing me the greatest grief?


“DIX” Things I’m Grateful For — Part IV


What a week! Maritime Career Day, changes at work, doctor’s appointments, friends, Mother’s Day! Despite the tears, tiredness and an ever present cold, it was all worth it. Being busy, running around, being in the heart of mayhem, are things that make the weekend so much sweeter. With that, cheers to another crazy week! Let there be more laughter, more tears, and most importantly sweet memories!

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Ten Things I’m Grateful For — Part III


“You are my sunshine, My only sunshine
You make me happy, When the skies are grey
You’ll never know dear, How much I love you
So please don’t take, My sunshine Away”

“You are my sunshine”… the start of classic children’s song that our parents sing to us as all of us grew up. Now I hear it being sung to E by her mom in the backseat of my car as we drive in the cloudless 70 degree weather. I am forever grateful to have been part of this moment. Not only is E her parent’s sunshine, she’s mine as well. E portrays the warmth of the sun and its spirit lifting powers.

With this, here are the moments of sunshine for the week that I’m truly lucky to experienced.

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10 Things I’m Grateful For

ImagePicking at another mind besides our own, can truly be a blessing in disguise. Taking a step back and letting someone else do the talking, can provide immense clarity on things that seemed so cloudy before.

Through picking at Glass’ brain last weekend and my own 엄마’s this weekend I came to my own realization about life itself. That realization being life’s “little” blessings that I often to seem to ignore/take granted for. Both seemed to convey how grateful they are for life’s simplest objects. Hence my quest to find what made me thankful began.

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21 Ways to Help Yourself Heal

Thought Catalog

1. Give yourself the emotional break you need. We work so hard to prove to others that we are worth it and prove to yourselves that we matter. Start realizing you have nothing to prove.

2. Recognize the joy in small things. Some days, when it rains yet again or the weather isn’t as temperate as the forecast promised, it can be hard to see the good in the world. On those days, don’t try to see the good in everything. See the good in something small, like a great cup of coffee.

3. Make up with someone with whom you’ve been putting off a reconciliation. Be the person who picks up the phone to reach out. We sometimes hate ourselves for caving first, as if you get a prize for holding out. You outlasted. However, I think you should get a prize for forgvieness. They give people medals for…

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I Want To See You

Wishful thinking

Thought Catalog

I want to see you fall asleep each night.

I want to see you the nights you feel like staying awake and splitting a cheap bottle of wine with me, theorizing life and love, questioning the pursuit of happiness, and whether or not happiness truly exists at all. I want to see you the nights you feel as though you have found yourself in a creative rut and you don’t want to talk about it. I want to see you the nights you are straining to keep your eyes focused clear ahead on your work, until the moment you eventually give in and fall fast asleep.

I want to see you wake up every morning.

I want to see you pull the covers back the mornings you can’t wait to jump out of bed to take on the world. I want to see you crawl back under the covers the…

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